Molly Cain, Dallas – Texas

Molly Cain, the trust fund midget, is making her way around Dallas startup scene again looking for D. She’s got the weirdest proportioned body with stumpy arms and legs. Her face looks like a cross between the kid off Mad magazine and a down syndrome poster. If you scrape off the bondo and plaster, her face is splotchy red and bumpy with a touch of mustache. Molly is an emotional roller coaster that can’t keep her lies straight. She makes up job titles and companies to try to impress people and to get speaking gigs. Most of her resume is a lie and the parts that are true are misleading because she was actually fired from those jobs. So many entrepreneurs and investors have been burned by her, except for those with a midget troll fetish. She’s all over these web sites like Glassheel, Govcity, and CultureMap male bashing and talking about women empowerment. But she lives off her Daddy and the trust fund he gave her. And she likes to give head to any dude with money. Get a few cocktails in her and she’ll cry while spewing racist rants in between slobbing your knob and humming Dixie. How’s that for a feminist? They used to call her the Deadliest Catch like that TV series. She thought it was cool and empowering. They called her that because she had crabs. She’s so dumb. Wrap it up fellas. This old midget is a carrier.


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